Here is my most recent speech for my Center's Banquet. I am very nervous since a lot rides on this Banquet, so feedback is appreciated. :)
I am a survivor.
My name is Brittany, and I am a volunteer here at the Women’s Enrichment Center. I do everything from counting donations to speaking, and helping Karen here start up our post abortive counseling, which she will come up and share about in a few minutes.
Tonight, I want to share my story with you all in hopes that you will be able to see the importance of our efforts here at the Center, and also the extreme need for it.
I am 21 years old. And I have been married for 6 years. Together, my Husband and I have two children. One of those children is in Heaven. Her name is Lucy.
On December 20th, 2009, I found out I was pregnant-for the second time. I just remember being so….scared. I had never been so terrified in my life. And when you are scared like that, your mind just goes racing. You don’t feel like you have time to stop and think about what is going on. You just have to “fix it” the best way you know how. And it just seems like, it won’t work out. No matter what happens, IT WON’T WORK. We couldn’t keep our baby. Nobody could even know I was pregnant. So, We had only one choice, we thought.
I was in such a daze, it didn’t even occur to me that there was a child inside of me, a child made by God with a heartbeat and a purpose. It was my job to protect my child, but by time I realized that, I was too late. I had an abortion. December 29th, 2009, just 9 days after I found out, was the last time that I held my precious child safely inside of me.
At the clinic, we waited for what seemed like hours before I was called back for my ultrasound. And when they did, right at that moment I felt so trapped. Like there was no turning back. So, I went. I don’t remember walking to the back. I just remember that I somehow ended up in the ultrasound room. And the next thing I remember was being told that I was about 6-1/2 weeks. My heart sunk as I saw her circle the word “Yes” under Cardiac Activity. Because then I knew. I knew. I had such a perfectly healthy life inside of me, and soon she would be gone.
After my ultrasound, they went through a few more tests and then sent me back in a room full of other women who were all there for the same thing…a solution, a cup full of pills.
As they passed around the consent papers, they also handed out those tiny little cups and repeated instructions on what to do and how to do it. What to expect and how to cope with the pain. And as I stared at that pill I thought of all the reasons I felt I HAD to do this. So I took it.
I left that building so ashamed of myself. I already wanted to take it back. All I could think about is how….MAYBE, somehow it didn’t work. Maybe I could have a second chance.
For two years I suffered in silence. I buried my secret and I tried to burry all of the many emotions that go along with it. After the passing of what would have been her 1st birthday, I just broke. I couldn’t handle the pain any longer. I felt anxious all the time and I had to be cleaning, always. I guess to fill that void. But it didn’t work. I hit the bottom, and when I did, the Lord was there to pick me back up and help me put myself back together. “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest….My yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
There is healing after abortion. And that is where my true healing began.
I was lead to start counseling and through my counselor I found WEC of Dalton. It wasn’t long after that I began serving. I knew this is where I belonged. I was rearin’ to go and help other women find their Healing.
I THOUGHT I had found my healing on my own and through my counseling, but I still had a ways to go. I attended a Save One Recovery Group, which I thought was just going to be “training” for me to help lead our own groups. Turns out, I received more healing than I thought I needed. I found forgiveness. I completely resolved my anger. And I now know the daughter I lost. She has a sex, a name, and her short life now has purpose. Most importantly, I found Peace in the Lord.
Now I stand here today to tell you that if I had it to do all over again, I would give my child the gift of LIFE, the gift that every child deserves, regardless of their family background or situation. If I had told somebody I was pregnant and considering abortion and I received the same understanding and loving guidance that the women who come into our Center receive, I would have a miracle 3 year old child standing next to me today, but I don’t. That is okay though because God gives us all lessons to learn and through me, he has used Lucy for a greater purpose.
Isn’t that what it is about? Being part of a purpose? A woman I know once told me, “Without LIFE, we have nothing.” (Repeat) Nothing. Lives are being saved inside the walls of this Center. Lives that are uniquely and wonderfully made by God. We are all called to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. Why not start with LIFE?
