How God Called Me To Speak

Early last year, Fall of 2012, my Center Director asked if I would speak in front of a few of pastors' wives at a luncheon we were having to inform others about our Center. "Really? Me? U-U. No way! No how!" is what I wanted to say, but I didn't. I just said, "Um. Okay. But I can't promise it will be anything good." She told me not to prepare anything, but that it would be a casual lunch with a few women. 

Apparently, what she meant was, "Don't prepare anything if you are used to talking in front of other people," because I was a bundle of nerves the morning of, with absolutely no clue what I wanted to say. 

I walked in the doors, nervous. I had only been at the Center a couple of months and didn't know exactly what to do or how to help. They told me to just sit down and relax, so I did. I met a nice lady who talked to me and assuaged my fears a bit. (At the time I had no clue that she was a member of our board, or more importantly, and angel sent by God.) 

I stood up when my time came, and I shook the entire time as I stumbled through the words trying to find what to say. Here is what my testimony sounded like, "My name is Brittany. I had an abortion, um, uh, back in 2009. I had lots of problems afterward. And I decided to um, find help. Which helped me find this Center. I decided to volunteer. And we did a Bible study recovery, and it really helped." Yah. Eloquent, right? I sounded like a Kindergartener. The lady I partner with for our Recovery Group stood with me and then spoke as soon as I finished. She had her little note cards and she spoke so clearly and with passion about the Recovery Group we were starting.

Afterward, I found my way back to my seat, heart still pumping, mind racing..."How stupid I must have just sounded? Revealing so emotionlessly and plainly that I had aborted my second child?" My new friend smiled and thanked me for my bravery. She told me that I spoke well and that she wanted me to come share at her church. 

What she saw in me, I do not know to this day, what it could have been. The woman who spoke beside me was so much more...prepared for this sort of thing, clearly. But I accepted her request. How could I tell her no? And in January 2013, I shared my story for one of the first times in front of a large crowd of people. From then on, I knew my Purpose.

I KNEW that God had just then turned something as ugly as abortion into something Beautiful, something that could potentially save lives or help others to heal. 

I believe in Guardian Angels now, because mine appeared to me just 12 short months ago and revealed to me what I was called to do, something in my wildest dreams would have never thought God would ask me to dedicate my life to. 

But I realized that TOO MANY women made that choice oh so many years ago and have been silenced. TOO MANY young people are being lied to about what abortion really is. We need to speak up. We need to speak out. We need to Remember our Children and what a difference their short lives made and are still making. So I said, "Yes," to God. And I haven't looked back since. 

I recently saw the woman I met that day, at the annual banquet for the Center. I feel so close to her, and I have only seen her 5 times. I feel like I have known her forever. She is so supportive and loving. Always telling me that she has more places for me to share and that she wants to go with me, sit by my side, and support me all the way. A woman that she barely knows, never met before Fall of last year. She so quickly took me under her wing and so willingly supported me, encouraged me, and loved me despite my past. Wouldn't it be amazing if we were all like that?