I don't remember much of it, but here is what I do.
I remember dealing with doctors and newborn. And I remember her, the doctor, telling me it was simply acid reflux and that he would be fine. I remember a wave of fear washed out of me. (Assuming that came from the dealing with Samantha's cyclic vomiting.) I looked at my little girl, "big sister." I assumed she was Samantha, but she was still tiny. Looked like a Baby herself. (Nothing like I ever pictured Lucy, because to be honest, I never pictured her as a Baby, just as a child.) She had black hair. Quite a bit darker than Samantha's hair was when she was born, but the same dark skin and squinted eyes Samantha had. I remember picking her up and soaking in being able to hold her. (What confused me at first when I woke up was that I wasn't holding my newborn. I was holding her.) We both looked at "brother's" head wobbling. He was even smaller than her. But same traits. Black hair, dark skin, squinted eyes. (Don't ask why. We are both blonde haired and decently pale.) I said, "Come on, let's go teach little brother how to sit up. We began to walk out of the room together. I thought we were going to the same place, but the little girl in my arms kept trying to reach for her brother. She whined a little bit and I said, "Oh, it's okay. You will see him again one day. Tell brother bye for now." And she did. And she reached for him and hugged him. He hugged her too. But she didn't kiss him....She licked him. lol I looked at the doctor in shock and awe of this relationship the two of my children had already built. But she didn't seem surprised at all. The boy left the room (somehow in my arms) and the girl was left behind. My dream stopped there.
When I woke up, I had no time to process the dream. Even though I had set my alarm for 7:15, it didn't go off until 7:30, exactly when my dream ended. (I have never had a dream that actually ended.) Once I finished getting my Husband ready for work, I had some time to sit and ponder and pray about it. And I started feeling like that wasn't my daughter, Samantha. That was Lucy. And that little boy was our baby. Part of me inside is a little sad. I always wanted all girls. But another part of me is just jumping full of joy at the fact that we WILL have another. That he is on his way! And that I got to see my Lucy once again. And hold her too! I remember how it felt to hold her. Warmth flooded my body. Love rushed through me. Holding her little body seemed to make me whole again. What a Blessing.
May be a little bit much information, but I ovulated yesterday. Hasn't really been on my mind though because of vacation and well, everything is in full swing, so we have been busy. I would say that the dream came from obsession, but I am not obsessing. I feel like God gave me that dream. It may not mean that we will definitely have a boy. Or that I will definitely get pregnant this month. I am not saying that at all, but there is something behind it. And I am praying we find out very soon.
The face of both my angels looked so similar to the one below. This looks nothing like my S now, but it is her for sure. I always pictured Lucy a lot like Samantha. I assumed because she was all I ever knew. But now I am starting to think they really do favor.
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